Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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