Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
