come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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