I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
