Me. At least after what I've been through.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I had to cum in my sink.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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