jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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