If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
