4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
