Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
