We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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