I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
