The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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