But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
