well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He better not be in your backpack
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
