I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
