Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
