If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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