I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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