where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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