sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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