Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
