C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
as a side note pls kill me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
