chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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