so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize