is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
