it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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