I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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