we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
