i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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