Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i think i have two assholes
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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