You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
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He called his prostate his "boner button".
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
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He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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