I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
