I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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