my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
either way he was missing a nipple.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
