You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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