Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
