Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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