You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
