I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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