And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I still have a little drunk in my system
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Who died my cat blue again?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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