i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
