and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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