I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
