That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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