Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
