I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
