Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
