last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
