Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i dont even know how to be here
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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