I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
