did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
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That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize