i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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