wat bout pragnant strippers??
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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