Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my shit smells like andre
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
