I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
