I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
