So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
