Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
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the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
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Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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