the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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