just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
